THE BEAUTY OF LAUGHTER AND TEARS

Since the beginning of this pandemic, I’ve spent more time at my kitchen table. It’s one of my favorite spots in the house because of the view of our backyard and some items I’ve placed there that are special to me. It also has afforded me a little “polite separation” from my better half - we found our house shrinking in size during quarantine and staked out our own spots.

I heard recently that something truly beautiful can actually make us a little sad. It’s strange how our emotions, especially the stronger ones, can intermingle or cross the lines at times. I hadn’t considered it sadness, but it’s like when you cry at weddings or laugh at funerals. Oh, you don’t do that? Oops. Well, I should further explain that, again, when emotions run high all sorts of things can happen.

My grandmother always made it clear that her funeral was to be held in the big First Baptist Church on a Saturday so that more people could attend. She had everything planned out to the finest detail. Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out and the church was unavailable for her service. The lovely chapel in the funeral home would have to suffice, and the people there were very gracious in accommodating as many of my grandmother’s wishes as possible in this new location. My mother and grandmother (her mother-in-law) had their differences; she spent a lot of time over the years trying to please her and keep the peace for my father’s sake. Though my grandmother had passed on, my mother still felt the need to help make sure everything was acceptable. So, as people began to arrive for the visitation, she told us the best places to meet with our friends and family. On our way to the front, mother glanced back at my grandmother lying in the coffin and noticed that one of her eyes was partially open. She probably should’ve thought twice before mentioning this to my husband, knowing his personality. With much concern she whispered to him about what she had seen. He explained without missing a beat that she was simply looking at my mother and thinking, this is NOT the First Baptist Church! Well, it pretty much went downhill from there. The three of us had a very difficult time getting our emotions (giggles) under control and my father was definitely not amused.

I wish I could say this was the only time something like this happened in our family, but it was not. Again, I think our nerves and emotions just take over during times like this; there is a release and sometimes it’s inappropriate. But it doesn’t mean we aren’t grieving.

Beautiful and wonderful things sometimes make me cry even though I am not sad. The tears just come without warning. Thinking about hugging friends and family again, looking out the window at the breathtakingly beautiful blue sky, watching the colorful leaves and “helicopter seeds” floating by, and hearing the birds sing their sweet songs, never gets old or boring. And the cardinal looking back at me through the window seems to be saying, why are you crying on such a beautiful day?